This was CNY a few years back. I have gotten into a relationship with a girl and this was barely a month into the relationship. I was supposed to go to my grandfather's house for dinner. Although the dinner was late in the day I wanted to help my mom prepare food before we headed over to celebrate with my grandfather. The same day my then-girlfriend kept texting and pushing me to visit her, we agreed on a half day, that I would skip helping my mother with the food preparations and I could visit my girlfriend and celebrate with her family. Part of the agreement we had was I would also eat less to save my appetite for my own celebrations. Once at her place, she forced me to eat a lot, not what we agreed. I decided it was only fair to her and her family to show I was comfortable, so I ate as much as I could. When it was time for me to leave so I can go to my grandfather's house, she attempted to prevent me from leaving. I did not know this was something I needed to explain and I just said it’s CNY I need to attend the dinner with my grandfather and more importantly my family. She asked, "why can’t you just skip it and spend time with me?" I was already offended, I answered that my family was close, not that I felt I needed to as CNY was already a holiday that most, if not all Chinese families utilize to have reunions. She challenged me further and asked why was my family so close. By this point, I have had it. Yet I still explained it’s because I lost my grandmother recently and it was a sudden unpredicted event. So we wanted to spend as much time with my grandfather as he ages fast. She preceded to say “I hope your grandfather faster goes away” I left after that and went to my grandfather's house, I had no appetite and she was still constantly bugging me with her texts. I was down and full and was unable to fully enjoy the reunion. My whole family was constantly worried for me and concerned, it brought down the whole mood of the entire dinner. I’m still upset to this day because 1. She took me away from the time I was supposed to use to help my mother and as a result took away my personal family time. 2. She made it very difficult for me to enjoy my own family’s event something that literally happens once a year. 3. She devalues my entire family, she effectively wished death upon my grandfather. Challenged me to explain my family’s close bond in a disrespectful manner during a sensitive time. Who asks questions like that? 4. To top it all off, her tone throughout was unapologetic and she did not even realize what she said or did was wrong and inappropriate. The story does not end here. After CNY she proceeded to keep telling all our friends that I was too much of a “mommy’s boy” because I was not firm enough against my own family to skip CNY. This was not the only time she took me away from family events. I nearly missed a wedding and a funeral in the next few months, all through similar actions and questions from her. Eventually, I did break up with her, and this whole CNY chaos event is only one part of a larger toxic relationship. Tonight I am going for a reunion dinner with my Grandfather, I will enjoy myself without the fear of her cohesive abuse. Yet every year before the long weekend even starts, I get reminded of this unfavorable event and it bugs me right up until celebrations.